Delight must be pursued through the process of discipline.
Or in other words, discipline facilitates delight. Discipline helps me create a well-ordered heart so I can love Jesus well. And I think that's what's really central to this whole idea. Discipline continually prepares my heart for worship.
My life can look really good on the outside, and my heart can be a mess. I can be disciplined - going through the motions, checking off Bible reading and church attendance, and my heart can be dead. Or there are times when I can be super excited about God, but experiencing no real growth because the excitement is emotional and ungrounded. Real, sustainable growth requires both discipline and delight.
About five months ago, I put down a tile floor in our house. It's the self-stick tile, so it wasn't that complicated, but I was proud of tackling my first major home improvement project on my own. Recently, some of the tiles in the bathroom have been pushing up, and we've noticed a little water on the floor after showering. Though I caulked and everything was theoretically sealed, water would seep through some of the tiles. Over the past month, we've taken extra care to avoid dripping water and cleaning it up. The water stopped seeping through and everything seemed okay.
Today I went to glue down the tiles that hadn't stuck well, and realized the whole bathroom area floor was soaked. Mold was growing, and none of the tiles were usable. From the outside, it still looked fine. There were a few flaws, a few tiles that appeared to need minor damage control, and a small problem that needed extra care, but nothing indicated a huge problem. And yet it's the inside that counts. I don't know how we hadn't smelled it yet, but once the water and mold was fully revealed, there was no denying the issue. Minor touchups were no longer on the table. Full force replacement was now necessary.
My heart can be the same way. My life can look pretty good on the outside, but once you get past the minor exterior damage, nothing short of full restoration can satisfy.
Discipline is a process that allows good maintenance. It makes me aware of the issues that need to be addressed in my heart before they come spilling out and damaging everything I'm involved in. This isn't to say by practicing the disciplines I fix myself, but rather, I am intentionally and regularly presenting and surrendering myself to God, expecting Him to be at work in me.
Showing posts with label surrender. Show all posts
Showing posts with label surrender. Show all posts
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Duty and Delight
"When I surrender everything to Him and focus on just loving Jesus, my checklist isn't so important, and sanctification takes care of itself."
This is a concept I've wrestled with a lot the past three years, as I've sat under Jeff, the current youth pastor at church. His life verse is Philippians 2 - "Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose." His emphasis is that our work is to surrender and do nothing - not try to fix our selves or become better Christians - and let God do what He will in us. He says that as American Christians, we really struggle with works based salvation, regardless of what we profess to believe. And I can't deny that American culture certainly elevates independence and Lone Rangers and pulling yourself up by the bootstraps.
I disagree mildly about how Jeff applies this though. He once told the youth group not to read their Bibles until they wanted to. His point is extremely valid, especially for kids who have grown up in the church with a checklist of dos and don'ts. And I think it's a great exercise, for a set period of time. Because when it comes down to it, human hearts are prone to wander and to desire things that shouldn't be desired. Far too often, as Lewis explains, our experiences with joy leaves us chasing more stuff instead of pointing us to the only source of Joy.
I want to delight in God and in communion with Him through serious study of His Word. But sometimes, the delight just isn't there. And while I agree that resorting to duty isn't the point of Christianity, there has to be a balance. I'm coming to discover that often, discipline has to jump start desire.
This is a concept I've wrestled with a lot the past three years, as I've sat under Jeff, the current youth pastor at church. His life verse is Philippians 2 - "Work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose." His emphasis is that our work is to surrender and do nothing - not try to fix our selves or become better Christians - and let God do what He will in us. He says that as American Christians, we really struggle with works based salvation, regardless of what we profess to believe. And I can't deny that American culture certainly elevates independence and Lone Rangers and pulling yourself up by the bootstraps.
I disagree mildly about how Jeff applies this though. He once told the youth group not to read their Bibles until they wanted to. His point is extremely valid, especially for kids who have grown up in the church with a checklist of dos and don'ts. And I think it's a great exercise, for a set period of time. Because when it comes down to it, human hearts are prone to wander and to desire things that shouldn't be desired. Far too often, as Lewis explains, our experiences with joy leaves us chasing more stuff instead of pointing us to the only source of Joy.
I want to delight in God and in communion with Him through serious study of His Word. But sometimes, the delight just isn't there. And while I agree that resorting to duty isn't the point of Christianity, there has to be a balance. I'm coming to discover that often, discipline has to jump start desire.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Love and Obey
For some reason, the Bible songs I learned as a little kid have been randomly skirting through my head. I guess after 10+ years of lying dormant in the dark recesses of my mind, they wanted to be remembered. Particularly, a Donut Man song has made me ponder recently.
Wow. I'm a little impressed with my memory. Didn't know until just now I could whip out the whole song. It's just this one line that has kept me thinking
And if I learn to love, then I will obey.
I feel like sometimes in the midst of all the things I do, I forget that at the end of the day, my only duty and delight is to love Jesus. When I surrender everything to Him and focus on just loving Jesus, my checklist isn't so important, and sanctification takes care of itself. For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose.
Chesterton has this great line about if you have a fixed heart, then you have a free hand.
It all comes back to the heart. Orthokardia.
Picking up my socks, hanging up my clothes, helping with the dishes, doing what I'm told. It's just another way of saying "Lord I love you."
You teach me in your word, to love is to obey. And if I learn to love, then I will obey. It's just another way of saying "Lord I love you."
To love and obey, it's the only way, even if it's not the easiest thing to do.
Wow. I'm a little impressed with my memory. Didn't know until just now I could whip out the whole song. It's just this one line that has kept me thinking
And if I learn to love, then I will obey.
I feel like sometimes in the midst of all the things I do, I forget that at the end of the day, my only duty and delight is to love Jesus. When I surrender everything to Him and focus on just loving Jesus, my checklist isn't so important, and sanctification takes care of itself. For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose.
Chesterton has this great line about if you have a fixed heart, then you have a free hand.
It all comes back to the heart. Orthokardia.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Holy Rest
I think God has been trying to get my attention about this rest thing.
Of the Ten Commandments, I think I break 1 and 4 the most. Perhaps it is precisely because I do not take the time to rest that I forget to remember the LORD and keep Him at the center of my life. It's so much easier for me to stay in charge of my life when I don't slow down for anything.
Often it is a bout of sickness that slows me down and forces me to rest. This time, God in His sovereign grace, sent an ice storm.
A crazy ice storm has hit North Texas, and schools have been closed four days this week. Facebook tells me many of my friends are bored and stir crazy, but I'm not. This week has been a much needed time to catch up on life, on just being instead of constantly doing.
One of the issues I've been grappling with recently is this idea of rest, ceasing work, giving up everything. It's so foreign to me as an American - not doing anything so that God can do everything.
And then tonight, I was listening to Phil Vischer's talk at the Children's Pastors Conference last month. He is one of my heroes, for many reasons. Part of what he said resonated with me deeply.
And so I hear His voice: Stop kicking against the goads. Trust Me. Let go.
Of the Ten Commandments, I think I break 1 and 4 the most. Perhaps it is precisely because I do not take the time to rest that I forget to remember the LORD and keep Him at the center of my life. It's so much easier for me to stay in charge of my life when I don't slow down for anything.
Often it is a bout of sickness that slows me down and forces me to rest. This time, God in His sovereign grace, sent an ice storm.
A crazy ice storm has hit North Texas, and schools have been closed four days this week. Facebook tells me many of my friends are bored and stir crazy, but I'm not. This week has been a much needed time to catch up on life, on just being instead of constantly doing.
One of the issues I've been grappling with recently is this idea of rest, ceasing work, giving up everything. It's so foreign to me as an American - not doing anything so that God can do everything.
And then tonight, I was listening to Phil Vischer's talk at the Children's Pastors Conference last month. He is one of my heroes, for many reasons. Part of what he said resonated with me deeply.
At last week's service, something struck me. There is this great line in the first verse of "In Christ Alone."I was reading Paul’s letter to Galatians – “but the fruit of the Spirit it is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.”
And for the first time it appeared to me what Paul meant. I mean, I was familiar with the fruit of the Spirit, but I had always kind of looked at it as an obligation, a duty, something else I had to do while I was saving the world. If you’re a Christian, you have to act loving, you have to act joyful, you have to be kind and patient and self-controlled. I looked at it sort of like homework – oh great, something else I have to do.
But now I saw what Paul really meant. If you’re filled with the Spirit, these attributes will flow out of you whether you want them to or not. For an apple tree, producing apples is not an obligation – it can’t be helped. No apple tree accidentally produces grapes and then says “Oh darn it, I messed up again.” An apple tree produces apples for the simple reason that it is an apple tree. And the Holy Spirit produces the fruit of the Spirit in the life of the believer for the simple reason that He is the Holy Spirit. If someone is filled with the Spirit, these attributes will fall out of him naturally and effortlessly. It can’t be avoided.
What heights of love, what depths of peaceIt struck me that the two are related. My fears are stilled when I cease striving, and surrender everything I am to Jesus. It is by surrendering and trusting Him that I "work out my salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in me to will and to act according to His good purpose."
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
And so I hear His voice: Stop kicking against the goads. Trust Me. Let go.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
"God's will for my life"
God is good.
After years of hearing Him whisper, I finally heard what He's been trying to tell me the past three years. Especially this past year, I've been looking for the wrong things. Reading Francis Chan's book Forgotten God definitely helped me crystallize some of these thoughts, but it's been incredible to see God confirm His word through so many different circumstances.
My dwelling place, my security, my home, my future is in Christ and Christ alone. If I look for these things in any other place, I will never be satisfied.
I do not have the right to seek or know "God's will for my life." It's not biblical to know "God's will for my life" as I usually mean the phrase. It sounds spiritual, but it's really just a demand for God to let me know what He's going to do the next five, ten, twenty, fifty years. And God doesn't work that way. He called Abram to go when Abram had no idea where he was going or where He would end up. We're called to walk by faith, not by sight, and sight is what I have been demanding of God, in a super spiritual nice way. Right.
But that fact is, I know God's will for my life. Scripture's pretty straightforward here. Love God. Love people. Follow Jesus. Walk in step with the Spirit.
And in His grace, He's given me more specifics - use media to mobilize the Church for the sake of the Unreached. Do I have any idea what this will practically look like? Heck no. But for the first time, I'm okay with that.
I have no right to ask/demand to know anything beyond this. I'm not supposed to know the five year plan or have my retirement figured out. I'm called to pick up my cross and crucify myself and follow Jesus and be faithful to obey in the little things every single day. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Honestly, I've been somewhat surprised to find the freedom in this, because it's definitely terrifying, too. But real grace is a terrifying thing. Radical grace demands radical discipleship, and there is nothing Jesus does not demand I give up. My flesh is terrified, but my spirit is at peace. Aslan may not be safe, but He is good. He is faithful. And right now, that's all I need to know.
After years of hearing Him whisper, I finally heard what He's been trying to tell me the past three years. Especially this past year, I've been looking for the wrong things. Reading Francis Chan's book Forgotten God definitely helped me crystallize some of these thoughts, but it's been incredible to see God confirm His word through so many different circumstances.
My dwelling place, my security, my home, my future is in Christ and Christ alone. If I look for these things in any other place, I will never be satisfied.
I do not have the right to seek or know "God's will for my life." It's not biblical to know "God's will for my life" as I usually mean the phrase. It sounds spiritual, but it's really just a demand for God to let me know what He's going to do the next five, ten, twenty, fifty years. And God doesn't work that way. He called Abram to go when Abram had no idea where he was going or where He would end up. We're called to walk by faith, not by sight, and sight is what I have been demanding of God, in a super spiritual nice way. Right.
But that fact is, I know God's will for my life. Scripture's pretty straightforward here. Love God. Love people. Follow Jesus. Walk in step with the Spirit.
And in His grace, He's given me more specifics - use media to mobilize the Church for the sake of the Unreached. Do I have any idea what this will practically look like? Heck no. But for the first time, I'm okay with that.
I have no right to ask/demand to know anything beyond this. I'm not supposed to know the five year plan or have my retirement figured out. I'm called to pick up my cross and crucify myself and follow Jesus and be faithful to obey in the little things every single day. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Honestly, I've been somewhat surprised to find the freedom in this, because it's definitely terrifying, too. But real grace is a terrifying thing. Radical grace demands radical discipleship, and there is nothing Jesus does not demand I give up. My flesh is terrified, but my spirit is at peace. Aslan may not be safe, but He is good. He is faithful. And right now, that's all I need to know.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Peace
So the other day I was sitting down with a really good friend and two other girls I'm just getting to know. They initiated it, and I'm really glad they did. We asked each other questions - kind of the typical, start-to-get-to-really-know-someone... like describe yourself in five words, how do you spend your free time, who are your some of your best friends and why, who has impacted you, etc.
One of the questions was what is your dream job. A question that is looming closer and closer on the horizon, and therefore feeling much less like a random question and much more real.
I thought about it, but there was none of the eternal turmoil I expected. (Wow, Freudian slip? I intended to write "internal turmoil...") For the past two years, another friend and I have dubbed my seemingly conflicting interests as my "trilemma" - my interests in tech/media, history/writing, and missions - rather distinct fields. But now I'm seeing God began to stitch these random pieces together.
I really found only two desires in my heart and mind. First, my dream job would be to get paid to go around (the States and the world) talking about missions - mobilizing missions, getting other people to understand and participate in this desire God has to see the nations know and glorify Him.
At the same time I want to be a wife and mother.
And then I named some other interests that I wouldn't mind making doing as a job (though perhaps not a lifelong career). I'm not sure what my journey will look like yet.
Realizing the solidarity of the passion in my heart was amazing. I don't think I really grasped it at the time, but having God's peace about what He has called me to do is beautiful.
Granted, I don't know how this will play out or what it will really end up looking like - still waiting for those details, but it is not as hard to wait when I know Whom I am waiting upon and the purpose for which I am waiting. As Mark Alexander wrote:
One of the questions was what is your dream job. A question that is looming closer and closer on the horizon, and therefore feeling much less like a random question and much more real.
I thought about it, but there was none of the eternal turmoil I expected. (Wow, Freudian slip? I intended to write "internal turmoil...") For the past two years, another friend and I have dubbed my seemingly conflicting interests as my "trilemma" - my interests in tech/media, history/writing, and missions - rather distinct fields. But now I'm seeing God began to stitch these random pieces together.
I really found only two desires in my heart and mind. First, my dream job would be to get paid to go around (the States and the world) talking about missions - mobilizing missions, getting other people to understand and participate in this desire God has to see the nations know and glorify Him.
At the same time I want to be a wife and mother.
And then I named some other interests that I wouldn't mind making doing as a job (though perhaps not a lifelong career). I'm not sure what my journey will look like yet.
- I wouldn't be opposed to teaching history/geography/worldviews for several years and mobilizing missions in the context of a Christian high school.
- I have a passion for media and tech. Again, I'm not sure exactly was this will look like, but I feel called to use media to help mobilize missions.
- Along the same lines, I'm also passionate about using media to see the Church reclaim the arts and the power of good storytelling. Whether my involvement in this comes from my interest in writing or media/tech or simply supporting those who do this much better than I ever could, I want to be involved.
- I still think it would be cool to be a Biblical archaeologist (goes along with the inner history buff + theologian + childhood lover of all things dinosaur). But...haha yeah.
Realizing the solidarity of the passion in my heart was amazing. I don't think I really grasped it at the time, but having God's peace about what He has called me to do is beautiful.
Granted, I don't know how this will play out or what it will really end up looking like - still waiting for those details, but it is not as hard to wait when I know Whom I am waiting upon and the purpose for which I am waiting. As Mark Alexander wrote:
When we make God our North Star, we are guided precisely along the path He has prepared for us, even though we do not know where it leads.Lead me, Jesus. You have my heart, my guts, everything I am.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Lab Practical Exam
It was about nine months ago when God first started pounding the idea of complete surrender, of giving up all autonomy, of daily taking up my cross, into my heart. I'd heard the concept expounded upon many times before, but it truly only got to my brain. It never permeated my heart and translated into actions and habits and how I live.
This concept of surrendering autonomy had come up multiple times since then, but this last week has brought a choice to see if I've actually gotten anything from this process. See, I've been given a situation where applying this concept becomes really necessary because I don't have too many options. It's almost like I'm in a lab practical exam and it's like: okay, did you really get this, or will you have to learn it the hard way?
On Wednesday I destroyed my ankle/leg sliding in softball practice. Fractured two bones, tore two ligaments, earned surgery this week. So my mobilty is extremely limited to non-existent. I'm dependent on other people for just about everything. And, oh yeah, my grandmother was hospitalized in ICU for respiratory failure, meaning she's pretty close to seeing Jesus. Once again, I'm anxious and worried about something completely out of my control.
So will I surrender and allow God to handle everything, the things I can control and the things I can't? Will I be still and allow His strength to be made perfect in my weakness?
Father, help me surrender. Help me pick up my cross. Help me stumble, ever so slowly, after You.
This concept of surrendering autonomy had come up multiple times since then, but this last week has brought a choice to see if I've actually gotten anything from this process. See, I've been given a situation where applying this concept becomes really necessary because I don't have too many options. It's almost like I'm in a lab practical exam and it's like: okay, did you really get this, or will you have to learn it the hard way?
On Wednesday I destroyed my ankle/leg sliding in softball practice. Fractured two bones, tore two ligaments, earned surgery this week. So my mobilty is extremely limited to non-existent. I'm dependent on other people for just about everything. And, oh yeah, my grandmother was hospitalized in ICU for respiratory failure, meaning she's pretty close to seeing Jesus. Once again, I'm anxious and worried about something completely out of my control.
So will I surrender and allow God to handle everything, the things I can control and the things I can't? Will I be still and allow His strength to be made perfect in my weakness?
Father, help me surrender. Help me pick up my cross. Help me stumble, ever so slowly, after You.
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