Lordship, Not Location

Missions is not about location; it is about Lordship.

I had never heard this concept expressed so explicitly before Perspectives. For most of my life, I have understood missions in the roles of goers and senders. There are those who move geographically to spread the Gospel. Others send and support those who do to go, but they are called to stay at home personally.

However, missions ultimately is not about whether you stay or go; missions is about submitting to the Lordship of Christ completely. God often demands obedience before we know where we're going. This was the case with Abraham (Go to the land I will show you) and it certainly seems to be God's plan for me right now.

There are times I feel like I'm waiting in a cosmic game of Red Light/Green Light. It seems God likes the color red a whole lot right now. But I don't need to know where I'm going. Would I like to know where I'm going? Absolutely. But I don't need to know the plan. All I need to know, and I do know, is that God has a plan, and it is good, because He is good. It may not be particularly "safe" or line up with the timeline I have in my head, but that doesn't matter. What mattes is that I trust and obey and submit to the Lordship of Christ. He will give me the green lights as I need them, step by step.

It's easy enough to say this, sure. It's easy enough to know it in my head. But it's learning to actually live it out, to really trust God with all of my circumstances and His timing for the future that is difficult. It's something I've been struggling with for a while now - certainly the past year, and probably really the past three years. There are times this is all really frustrating, but in other instances, by the grace of God, I am slowly learning to trust Him with all of my being...

Grace Has Brought Me Safe Thus Far...

I was struck by something this week. In many ways, I'm exactly where I wanted to be four years ago. I'm a youth intern, living at home, working on school in Dallas. And yet I'm in a different world today than the one I anticipated four years ago. I'm in a completely different church, very different circumstances, and I pursuing a college path I never would have considered. To be honest, there are times this is still frustrating to me. It's not where I wanted to be. But it's EXACTLY where God wants me to be, and that is all that matters.

I'm so grateful that God gives me so many opportunities to trust Him. Many of them are not necessarily opportunities I would choose, except in this: I look back, and I see nothing but the faithfulness of God.

The past couple of weeks we've seen a transition in our church leadership that was initially very uncomfortable for me. It struck way too close to home, in that it was almost identical to the situation we experienced when our old church split apart. I was disappointed, worried, and, scared about it all - which really revealed my reluctance to trust God. I don't see the end of the situation yet, but God is so good. He's brought a new pastor who's amazing. I was privileged to sit and talk worship and missions and theology and denominations with him for almost an hour, and it was incredible. I have so many new things to think about. If only I could learn...I'm trying, and God is faithful to give me opportunities to struggle to trust Him.

God always works for His glory, which is always for our good.

That's ridiculous. Absolutely incredible. There are times when He is orchestrating events so far beyond me that I can't see even a hint of what He's doing, and I so quickly begin to question. But God is faithful. He is good. And He shows me this time and time again, in little matters and in things that are determining the course and direction of my life.

This is where I am right now. I know God has a plan, and it is good, because He is good. It may not be safe, but it is good. I'm at this intersection of knowing God's goodness and faithfulness, and really knowing and believing that I can trust Him. The hard part is truly living this out, walking day by day by faith, not by sight. At this point, I'm struggling and falling more than I"m walking. But I can see the progress. I'm slowly learning how to walk, as He is faithful to pick me up and set me on my feet again and again.

Grace has brought me safe thus far, and Grace will lead me Home.

I read this in a book today; it was quoting William Cowper's hymn "God Moves In A Mysterious Way." I wasn't previously familiar with the hymn, but I love these lines:

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy, and shall break
In blessings on your head.

His purposes will ripen fast
Unfolding every hour
The bud may have a bitter taste
But sweet will be the flower.

I have been dreading the storms in my life, and in doing so, have not turned to the One obeyed by the winds and the waves. I know that God is good, and that He ultimately works all things for good. He does everything to bring glory to Himself, and that is always for our benefit. If only my heart would absorb this from my head!

Jesus, I believe, but help my unbelief!

We Go In Jesus' Name

My mom and I spent most of this evening at the hospital, as we have many times this week. My grandmother is currently hospitalized with multiple serious problems, and she is probably close to death. At almost 88 years, she is aware, as are we, that the clock alone is against her. Tonight, however she was doing better, able to joke and laugh with us and my aunt.

Awhile after my aunt left, my mom and I also prepared to go home. We prayed with her for a good night's rest and that God's presence and peace would fill the room. Her nurse, Carol, came in as we were praying, and when we were finished, she said "Amen! I'm glad you know how to pray." From her previous mannerisms and choice of words, we had suspected she was a believer, and she now confirmed it. "Yes, we're all believers here." Mom wanted to make sure my grandmother understood. "You hear that, Nanny? She loves Jesus, just like us." "Oh, yes," Carol agreed. "I couldn't make it through without Him." She took Nanny's hand then, and spoke as if she had known our family for a long time.

"Whatever happens, we go in Jesus' name. See, I had told you that you were blessed, having four kids who turned out like this - and one boy is a pastor too,right? See that's blessing; luck has nothing to do with it. It's only by the
grace and love of Jesus."

"Amen!" my grandmother agreed as forcefully as I have heard her in recent days. "That's right," my mom agreed. To Carol she said, "She's loved God all her life. She was always faithful to have us in church." Carol couldn't have known of the courage Nanny displayed daily to raise her kids in a rough and unpleasant, and at times dangerous, environment. My family is a testimony to the grace of God. All of this was dead on and true.

But it was the first sentence that struck me. "Whatever happens, we go in Jesus' name." I immediately took it for a double meaning, or perhaps one meaning that is not nearly as dichotomous as it first seems. We go with Jesus in life, obeying and walking with Him through everyday challenges. But we also go with Him in death. And whatever happens, we trust in the power of His name.

That's where I'm at right now. I trust my God, and He alone numbers our days. I will soon see my grandmother go with Jesus in death, but it is not an end. When she goes with Jesus, she will know what life truly is. I will continue to go with Jesus in this life, on this earth, struggling to see the rays of heavenly life through the dark mist and fog that so often surrounds me in the valleys.

Her walk with Jesus will differ from mine for a few seconds. She will go on before me to join the great cloud of witnesses, cheering me on as I go with Jesus, running my race on this planet. But then eternity will come, and I will know true life as she has known it for a few moments longer than I. We will dwell in the presence of God forever. That is our hope and our peace in times of trouble. And it is very beautiful.