Depression and Perspective

I was seriously discouraged and depressed this afternoon. There are times I get so frustrated with the state of the Union right now I want to drop kick my citizenship as far as I can. Talking about the latest assault on American rights and freedom in the form of the passage of the Cap and Tax bill and the devastating effects it will have on the economy over dinner was extremely discouraging to me.

My heart's not in America, anymore, and that doesn't really have anything to do with the current administration or the destruction of the Constitution. It has everything to do with the Kingdom and what God is doing in the earth. I could really care less about America. Keep your change and hope and Gitmo terrorists and health care and education and mandatory volunteerism and your global warming and ethanol. I'm easy to please, just give me a passport. That's all I want.

Yet I know I'll be here at least two more years, and those two years seem like a long time. I struggle with not wanting to be here in America, yet knowing I am here for this season. And I don't really know what to do. Politically, I don't think America will rebound, not the way I'd like it to. Spiritually, I don't know what to think of the American church, except that we're failing miserably. Economically, things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

In the midst of my depressed state, my mom spoke three words that brought perspective.

"First century Jerusalem."

(She actually expanded that thought, but those words snapped me back to True Reality.) The church Jesus left on earth was small and without great resources. (Most of them were ex-fishermen who gave up their whole livelihood to follow Jesus!) They were living under an extremely oppressive government who demanded heavy taxes. The political leader to whom they had to submit, who claimed to be deity incarnate, opposed everything their True King stood for.

And yet the gospel flourished.

God will accomplish what He says He will. Isaiah declares: "Of the increase of His Kingdom there will be no end." God isn't surprised by any of this, but instead He is working it and orchestrating it to accomplish His plans and His purposes in the earth.

How often I forget that.

How desperately I need to remember it.

Of the increase of His Kingdom there will be no end.

I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills His purpose for me. Psalm 57:2

It is a dark and stormy night...

And I can't sleep. Which is really annoying cause I went to bed early and everything. Forgive the fragments, I'm tired. And can't sleep.

Therefore, I started a new blog, devoted entirely to missions mobilization. http://missionsmobilization.blogspot.com

I intend to keep this blog going for more personal and random thoughts, whereas the new blog is obviously for the purpose of exploring missions mobilization. I hoping it will be of value both to me, as I learn and write and process, and to others - a yet undefined audience.

So feel free to tag along and join the journey. I'm planning to post several times a week on missions mobilization, and I can't promise anything about the frequency/spontaneity/sporadic-y of this blog. However, I will go out on a limb and promise that normal/correct grammar and vocab will return next time...

Waiting Game...take two

It seems like waiting has been a constant theme for the past year or two, probably cause its a constant theme in life. We walk by faith, not by sight, and thus we don't always know where we're going. It's part of the Christian life - waiting on God, keeping in step with the Spirit.

But its kind of a new experience to be on this side of the waiting game, knowing the direction I am to take and having peace about it, just waiting on the timing. It's not to say I enjoy this, but in some ways it does seem to be easier than the former task of waiting for insight, direction, and peace. I think the struggle for peace over worry is always an issue, to some degree, and there are new challenges. Rather than feeling stranded and confused with no direction, I'm experiencing a time in which I know what I am called to do, and I wait, restraining the passion within me for the time and situations God will appoint. Kind of like the guys walking to Emmaus, I feel like my heart is burning within me, as God has shown me His word and His plan like I have never seen before.

We're more than halfway through this year, and while the time has flown by (prompting a blogging-leave-of-absence), it's exciting. I wrote six months ago that "I know 2009 will be a time of change and transition, and I'm not sure I'm ready. But my God is faithful." God is faithful, and He has brought me thus far. I'm excited about the little I see of His coming plan and I know that now, as I wait, He is preparing me, even as He prepared me for what I have already experienced this year.

So I'm waiting, but I'm at peace. I'm excited for what God is doing. I'm resting in His faithfulness and seeking His face. There's no better place to be.