Resolving...

So a couple of days ago this excellent quote from G.K. Chesterton was waiting in my inbox, courtesy of Christian Classics Ethereal Library - an awesome site with free online access to many of the great old texts of the Christian faith.

The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective. Unless a man starts on the strange assumption that he has never existed before, it is quite certain that he will never exist afterwards. Unless a man be born again, he shall by no means enter into the Kingdom of Heaven." - G.K. Chesterton

Again, like Advent, I'm loving the tradition of the Methodist church we're attending. It's not super traditional, it's pretty casual and contemporary, but there's a heritage that just isn't in nondenominational churches whose roots only reach back 20 years.

Today we talked about the Covenant Renewal service that John Wesley held every first Sunday of the new year. Within the bulletin was a bookmark quoting from Wesley's work "Directions for Renewing our Covenant with God." The short highlight was good:

"I am no longer my own, but Yours. Put me to what You will, rank me with whom You will. Put me to doing; put me to suffering. Let me be employed for You or laid aside for You, exalted for You, or brought low for You. Let me be full; let me be empty. Let me have all things; let me have nothing. I freely and heartily yield all things to Your pleasure and disposal."

But I went back and found the original 22 page document here. Having been thinking on New Year's resolutions and similar things, this stood out to me.

"And whereas I have formerly, inordinately and idolatrously let out my Affections upon the World, I do here resign my Heart to Thee that madest it; humbly protesting before thy glorious Majesty, that it is the firm resolution of my heart, and that I do unfeignedly desire grace from thee, that when thou shalt call me hereunto, I may practise this my Resolution:

- to forsake all that is dear unto me in this World, rather than turn from Thee to the ways of Sin;

- and that I will watch against all its Temptations, whether of prosperity or adversity, lest they should withdraw my heart from thee;

- beseeching thee also to help me against the temptations of Satan, to whose wicked suggestions I resolve, by the grace, never to yield.

And because my own Righteousness is but menstruous rags, I renounce all confidence therein, and acknowledge that I am of myself a hopeless, helpless, undone creature, without righteousness or strength." (formatting and emphasis mine)

There's a mouthful. I realize why they shortened the passage they chose for the bookmark, but this will give me something to chew on for a while.

"And now, O glorious and blessed God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit - You are mine and I am Yours. So be it. And the covenant which I have made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven. Amen."

Learning to Walk In Freedom

I learned how to walk this week.

I now have a greater respect for the huge developmental stage toddlers must conquer.

It was seven weeks to the day from the time I completely rotated my ankle, snapping two leg bones and two ligaments, to the time I was able to walk, albeit haltingly and jerkily, without any support from crutches. How opposite were these two experiences in after-school athletics! But in these seven weeks, I've had much time to think. Paul's admonition about the body of Christ in I Corinthians has a lot more meaning now. And my understanding and appreciation of God as Creator and Healer has increased greatly.

When I first discovered that I could put weight on my leg and move it without supporting myself with crutches, I was ecstatic. Seriously, I don't remember being that happy in a long time. I was not most excited that I could use my leg again, but that my hands were free. My hands were no longer required to support my weight on sticks to balance and to propel my movement. I could use my hands again!

For the better part of two days, my movement didn't really resemble walking as one would normally think of it. It was a lot more like briefly putting pressure on my bad leg, swinging my good leg out in front, and jerking the rest of my body to catch up with my good leg. Added to this was the boot protecting my bad leg, which was a good deal longer than my foot and quite a bit heavier than what I was used to with the cast. Loving and accurate words used to describe this condition included "jerky," "klutz," and "freak." However, I couldn't care less what I looked like. I could walk and use my hands!

During this process, I thought of the concept GK Chesterton explains in his book Orthodoxy.

The heart must be fixed on the right thing: the moment we have a fixed heart we have a free hand.

Meaning, if we have a fixed heart, if God has control of my life, if I know I belong to Him and I have no life outside of Him, then I have a free hand. I can do whatever I will (remembering, however, that though all things are permissible, not all are beneficial). I am no longer bound to the Law. My hand is free; it does not need to worry about the expectations or judgments or approval of any except Him on Whom my heart is fixed.

In order to have a free hand, I must change my walk. To have a free hand, I must lose the crutches that kept me tied to a specific pattern of thought and motion. To have a free hand, I must recklessly abandon the path of this world and change my walk to follow and be with Jesus Christ.

At first, walking, any movement, is a chore. Will power, as much as muscle, jerks my body forward. Yet as I continue walking with Christ, I gain strength. I regain muscle and use of ligaments and achieve greater mobility. I learn to walk better, with more efficiency, so that to walk is not such a burden. Walking becomes a smoother process. It becomes an even greater joy.

Side note: To me, having a 'smoother walk' does not mean less struggle or fewer problems. It means that I am more able to follow Jesus and seek Him. The strength I have gained through walking with Him thus far gives me confidence for what is to come. I don't know what the situation will be, or how things will turn out, but I have complete trust in the character of my God as I walk with Him through the struggle.

May I fix my heart that my hand may be free and my walk may be closer to that of Jesus.