Holy Respite

Tonight was a glorious respite from the insane busyness that has consumed me the past few weeks. Since Christmas break ended, I have been working nonstop. Between tutoring more kids than I can keep up with and helping with accreditation stuff at school, I've barely had time to breathe. Tonight, I was reminded why we are commanded to rest.

Of all things, a Facebook ad notified me that Tim Keller would be speaking tonight. I looked up the church, and as it was just a few minutes from where I would be tutoring, I decided to go.

A large, evangelical Anglican church was hosting the Anglican 1000 church planting summit. Tim Keller was speaking in two sessions of the conference and in the evening service open to the public. Many people came just to hear him, and left as soon as he finished. They missed a beautiful Choral Evensong service.

Tim Keller was great. I've read and listened to some of his stuff, and it's brilliant. Tonight was no exception. But I think the highlight for me was just the serenity and conviction of the Evensong service.

I love worshiping with drums and bass and electric guitar, blasting the latest of Hillsong or the like. But sometimes my soul needs the order of the high church service, not to mention the beauty of the organ and magnificent choir.

Stand, sit, and kneel with the Church universal. Soak in the the words that have been prayed millions of times across the millennia. Confess sin and rejoice in the truth of the gospel. Make a joyful noise and find hope in the peaceful silence. Be awakened to the glory of God and the beauty of His presence. Be still. Know that He is God. Know that He will be exalted in all the earth.

Glory to God the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Ghost, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end! Amen!

Peace

So the other day I was sitting down with a really good friend and two other girls I'm just getting to know. They initiated it, and I'm really glad they did. We asked each other questions - kind of the typical, start-to-get-to-really-know-someone... like describe yourself in five words, how do you spend your free time, who are your some of your best friends and why, who has impacted you, etc.

One of the questions was what is your dream job. A question that is looming closer and closer on the horizon, and therefore feeling much less like a random question and much more real.

I thought about it, but there was none of the eternal turmoil I expected. (Wow, Freudian slip? I intended to write "internal turmoil...") For the past two years, another friend and I have dubbed my seemingly conflicting interests as my "trilemma" - my interests in tech/media, history/writing, and missions - rather distinct fields. But now I'm seeing God began to stitch these random pieces together.

I really found only two desires in my heart and mind. First, my dream job would be to get paid to go around (the States and the world) talking about missions - mobilizing missions, getting other people to understand and participate in this desire God has to see the nations know and glorify Him.

At the same time I want to be a wife and mother.

And then I named some other interests that I wouldn't mind making doing as a job (though perhaps not a lifelong career). I'm not sure what my journey will look like yet.

• I wouldn't be opposed to teaching history/geography/worldviews for several years and mobilizing missions in the context of a Christian high school.
  
  
• I have a passion for media and tech. Again, I'm not sure exactly was this will look like, but I feel called to use media to help mobilize missions.
  
  
• Along the same lines, I'm also passionate about using media to see the Church reclaim the arts and the power of good storytelling. Whether my involvement in this comes from my interest in writing or media/tech or simply supporting those who do this much better than I ever could, I want to be involved.
  
  
• I still think it would be cool to be a Biblical archaeologist (goes along with the inner history buff + theologian + childhood lover of all things dinosaur). But...haha yeah.
  

Realizing the solidarity of the passion in my heart was amazing. I don't think I really grasped it at the time, but having God's peace about what He has called me to do is beautiful.

Granted, I don't know how this will play out or what it will really end up looking like - still waiting for those details, but it is not as hard to wait when I know Whom I am waiting upon and the purpose for which I am waiting. As Mark Alexander wrote:

When we make God our North Star, we are guided precisely along the path He has prepared for us, even though we do not know where it leads.

Lead me, Jesus. You have my heart, my guts, everything I am.