I want to live in Narnia when I grow up!

Seriously, I'm not kidding. But even if I were, I think heaven will be similar to Narnia in many ways. We saw Prince Caspian again at the dollar theater recently, and I loved it. I liked it even better the second time, probably because I was focusing more on the spirit of the film rather than the technical accuracy to the book. 

One scene really caught my attention though. The Old Narnians are gathered in the forest to meet Caspian for the first time. Some want to kill him on the spot, while other are aware of the history and prophecies to be fulfilled. He explains that if they will help him recover his throne, then he will give Narnia back to the Narnians. At this, the centuar captain steps forward and draws his sword. 

"Then my sons and I offer you our swords." 

All the other creatures follow his lead and swords are raised. Reepicheep then steps forward, speaking for his small band of Talking Mice. 

"And we offer you our lives unreservedly."

The centaurs were willing to live and fight for Narnia, and as warriors, they were willing to die in the line of duty. But Reepicheep offered something greater. He offered complete loyalty, surrendering his life and rights before they were demanded of him. He understood how the Kingdom worked. 

There are times when we will offer God our time on Sunday mornings or our service or our strength, but we don't offer Him our hearts, the fullness of our being. We are commanded to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength - with everything we have. 

Francis Schaeffer writes in The God Who Is There: 

When I hear this first commandment to love the God who is there with everything that I am, it carries with it a total concept of life and truth...But this commandment carries something more; it tells me something very fundamental and exciting about myself...Those who understand what is involved will not dismiss this as "something I have heard since I was little." to think through the implications is totally exciting. The God who is there is of such a nature that He can be loved, and I am of such a nature that I can love...I know what man is, and I know who I am.

And so I will offer my life unreservedly. 

Holy Ambition

John Piper has coined the term a "holy ambition" to describe the passion one has to accomplish that which God created him or her to do. (Some would use the term "calling," but that's very broad, misunderstood, and rarely well-defined.) Holy ambition is a concept the Rebelution guys talk about fairly often as well. Alex and Brett Harris suggest that part of the problem of young adults wasting their lives is because society places a huge importance on spending time to "find yourself." Rather than finding myself, my focus should be on God and His global plan and what He wants to do in and through me. 

Instead of asking "Who am I?" we should look beyond ourselves to something greater. Asking "What grieves me, what excites me, what makes me mad?" reveals the areas where our passions line up with God's heart and what we can do to right injustice and give hope. 

As I was listening to these guys talk on an old interview on the Boundless Show, a phrase dropped into my heart. "Use media to mobilize missions."

I would describe my passions as tech/media, history, writing, and missions. Those are kind of distinct areas, and I'm not really sure how they interact. Yet. But I'm excited about the potential of using all of these to be involved in mobilizing missions. 

There are four basic roles in missions today - the go-ers, senders, welcomers (people who minister cross-culturally with immigrants/refugees who come to their home town), and the mobilizers. While I've been involved in all of these, my heart really lies with mobilizing the Church to recognize what God is doing around the world and urge them to get involved. 

I'm not exactly sure what this will look like, as with so many other things, but more pieces are starting to fall into place. And this is exciting, because God is faithful.

What Makes The Olympics So Special?

So basically for two weeks every two years, the whole world (more or less) watches TV every night to see how a bunch of young people - teenagers! - are going to compete and break world records and make history. We expect these kids to do it. We expect young girls, aged 12 or 16 depending on your country of origin, to do amazing flips and stunts and balance and astound the world. We expect 19-year-old swimmers to improve and come back four years later at the ripe age of 23 and "smash" previous accomplishments in a historical epic achievement. 

Everybody's excited. When the US and Michael Phelps won the 4x200 relay by 8/100 of a second, FOUR of my friends reported they screamed they were so excited. Note: these aren't people that scream on a regular basis. 

Everybody has nationalistic pride. Everyone - couch potato, varsity athlete, working mom, wrinkled grandpa, sports fanatic, little girl, and of course, Olympian - is a part of TEAM USA. My friend commented today, "I love the Olympics cause you can go up to anyone and talk about it, and they'll know what you're talking about - you could have a passionate conversation with a total stranger." 

Excitement. Passion. Unity. Global Awareness. High Expectations For Young People. 

What a great description! If only we could find something these adjectives describe besides a world sporting event occurring every two years by rotation. 

Why doesn't this describe everyday life? Why doesn't this describe society at large? Why doesn't this describe THE CHURCH?

Olympians have an ultimate goal that is worth all suffering. Olympians have trainers that push them to be the best in the world. Therefore, Olympians have dedication far beyond what most people can begin to comprehend. 

In the above paragraph, I should be able to replace the word "Christian" with the word "Olympian." 

Christians have an ultimate goal that is worth all suffering: Jesus. Christians have the Spirit within them transforming and sanctifying and encouraging them into the image of Christ. Therefore, Christians have dedication and commitment to Christ to the death, far beyond what most people can begin to comprehend. 

I'm not giving a cheesy "everybody should be excited about TEAM GOD" or that kind of thing. But I do think the church  - as an institute and as individual believers - needs to reevaluate what our passion and excitement and expectations are. 

Olympians are a special breed of people, no doubt. But Christians are called to be holy, set apart, a royal priesthood, above and beyond everything else in this world. Maybe we should take a clue from these super-athletes, who run hard to win a prize that perishes. We need to run much harder for the glory that will never fade or diminish. 

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. I Corinthians 9:24-27

I know I am loved by the King

"I know I am loved by the King and it makes my heart want to sing..."

I saw this quote, which is part of a song by Chris Tomlin, and it just jerked something inside of me. 

The King loves me. 

• Me! with all my pitiful mistakes, my repeat failures, my willful disobedience, my flaws and shortcomings. 
  
• Me! with all my lofty dreams and misplaced priorities and great imagination- all the things He must prick and rupture. 
  
• Me! the sinner He died to save long before I even knew or cared that He existed. 
  
• Me! now the sinner saved by grace, who keeps testing the limits of that grace -albeit often unconsciously- as I  stray and sin, yet again.
  

me. 

The King loves me. 

How, why, I do not know. But if I know even the littlest part of this truth (because Truth is Truth, even if we don't understand all of it yet), that The King loves me, how can I not sing? How can I not LIVE - truly live, as in the zoe life, abundant life, the life that is Christ? How can I desire sin, much less actually do anything that would in any way separate me from this King?

I know sanctification is process, it takes a lifetime, my old man is struggling with the new life in Christ, yada yada yada. I get that. We can't just jump from point A to point B and be done with it. 

BUT IT SEEMS TO ME that there should come a point of no return. A time when I realize all that I have in Christ and the absolute trash of the world. There should come a place where I understand, at least a little, of who Jesus The King is, and what He offers me - and this should propel me past all the entangling sin and the dead weight and the crap that beckons me to stay in and of this world. 

There should come a point when all I desire is to know Jesus, and Him crucified and risen and alive- when that is all I want, and no sin or pain or hell will keep me from pursuing this. 

Some would call this the moment of salvation, but perhaps it's more like Wesley's second work of grace or something. I don't know. But we see Paul struggling with his sin (Romans 7) long after justification and well into the process of sanctification. I think there comes a point in our Christian walk when we must choose to pursue God after we've experienced 'salvation.' I'm not making statements on predestination and that debate, or writing systematic theology to be studied by posterity (in other words, don't overanalyze what is spilling out of my gut into cyberspace). 

I'm just at a place of no return where I must choose radical discipleship or fall back and be content with the recycled religion I can spew out of my dark heart so easily. 

What would my life look like if I actually lived as if "I know I am loved by the King." I think my heart would be doing more than singing - I think it would be changing the world. 

I've been told that the only appropriate answer to radical grace is radical discipleship. I've been given radical grace. Let's see what radical discipleship looks like. 

...

I don't have much to say, but these two quotes really hit me. I'm discovering I can't do what I want to do so very badly. When it comes down to it, all I can do is give up. I'm pretty sure that goes against my nature, but my nature is no source of truth. Right now, in my life, I'm only sure of one thing. Pretty much everything else is up in the air in some way, shape, or form. But I know that I NEED GOD. Not in a cute Sunday School kind of way, but in a way that is real. I need to know the God I claim to love. 

This is from a blog I really like and read very sporadically.

"I suppose that's the place you reach at some point. All your plans fail. All your attempts to yank yourself up by the bootstraps fail. The rules fail. The ritual fails. People fail. You fail yourself.

Whatever.

In the end, you're 24, you're almost (almost) accepting the freefall...But you can't quite muster the guts to let go of the fraying rope and latch on to the only one who can save you now.

I have a confession. I am mortified of the mundane. Mortified. The most frightening thing in the world to me is that I might live my whole life having done nothing for the Kingdom of God.

There. I said it. It's out, for all to see, to hear, to read.

I fear failing my Master.

And yet he keeps walking, and I keep plodding (slowly) after. Because, really, whom have I in heaven besides him, and by what other name shall I be called?

As Peter said, "Lord, where else would we go?"

I don't have a lot of faith. I can't really say I know how to pray. It isn't really anyone's fault but mine, I suppose.

All I know is for the last two years, since I asked him to teach me, he's said simply:

Cease striving. Why do you kick against the goads?

A question for which I have no answer.

And so, with Luther, I say, "I am yours. Save me."

And in answer, our Lord replies...

I have you now. And I will not let you go. "

And this reminded me of this other quote from Phil Vischer I had been thinking about not too long ago.

"God was enough for the martyrs facing lions and fire - even when the lions and fire won. And God is enough for you. But you can't discover the truth of that statement while you're still clutching at your dreams. You need to let them go. Let yourself fall. Give up. As terrifying as it sounds, you'll discover that falling feels a lot like floating. And falling into God's arms - relying solely on His power and His will for your life - that's where the fun starts. That's where you'll find the "abundant life" Jesus promised - the abundant life that doesn't look anything like evangelical overload. The impact God has planned for us doesn't occur when we're pursuing impact. It occurs when we're pursuing God."

Wow. God, change me. Do with me what you will, but don't leave me like I am. I can't change that and I can't stand it. Make me Yours.

Sources, respectively. http://remadegold.blogspot.com/ and Vischer, Phil. Me, Myself, and Bob: A True Story About Dreams, God, and Talking Vegetables. Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2006. pg 250-251

Excited!

My Facebook status currently reads: Lauren is in love...with macs, photoshop, and the vision of Phil Vischer and JellyTelly. See www.jellytelly.tv.

The new header is the result of joyous time playing around with Photoshop while watching the Rangers beat the White Sox. But I'm really excited about what Phil Vischer (the guy who started VeggieTales) is working on right now.

After the bankruptcy of Big Idea and VeggieTales, and the collapse of Phil's dream, he realized that he had made his company more about him than God. He had lost sight of the original call. With the wisdom that only comes from failure and restoration, he writes a great book called Me, Myself, and Bob: A True Story about God, Dreams, and Talking Vegetables.

Anyways, he's doing a new thing now that is much needed and quite brilliant. With his new organization, Jelly Fish Labs - through which he's published two children's books and made several hilarious short mock news casts with a puppet named Buck Denver - he's creating an online Christian TV network for kids. He takes the premise that media influence is increasing in kids' lives even as Christians are producing less Christian kids media, and Vischer decides to do something about it. The average kid watches 22 hours of TV a week, and this might be countered by an hour of Sunday School. The worldviews of Nickelodeon and Disney Channel are basically raising a whole generation. 

Using clever storytelling, puppets, 2D and 3D animation, and live action, along with plenty of silliness that kids crave and hilarious wit that keeps adults engaged, Vischer proposes an online network called JellyTelly, which will combine short clips and new characters, the best of current Christian kids media, and the work of emerging young Christian film students and animators. What excites me most is not just the vision to give an alternative to families for entertainment or help teach kids Biblical values while partnering with churches to correlate curriculum, but that JellyTelly is also committed to training a new generation of young people to impact the media. No, the subscription online network with a pay-what-you-can policy will not be immediately challenging the likes of Disney or Viacom, but they will be creating a new generation of Christian storytellers, well trained and able to affect the arts and a generation of young children and families who know to expect better than either of the horrible quality Christian media or the indoctrinating trash of big television. 

PLEASE visit http://www.philvischer.com, http://www.jellyfishland.com, and ESPECIALLY http://www.jellytelly.tv for more information. 

Mid-Summer Classics

This week saw the 79th Midsummer Classic All-Star game, held in historic Yankee Stadium for the final time. As the most loyal fan of my Texas Rangers, I would like to point out that five time All-Star and Rangers' captain Michael Young had the game winning RBI. Josh Hamiliton smashed the previous record in the Home Run Derby, once again using the opportunity of a national audience to boldly proclaim how God has redeemed and transformed his life. I was proud and grateful to be a hometown Rangers fan.

I'm about at the midway point in my summer, so I thought I would evaluate. The main goals I have are to rehabiliate my leg, read a lot of books, and rest and prep for the coming hectic year. I've been careful to rest and help my leg, which has led to less activity in other areas. I haven't read as many books as I would have liked by now, but I've been steadily working on that in the past week especially.

In late May I made the goal of reading at least twenty (20) non-fiction information books this summer, and I put together a list of some 20+ that I wanted to read. They aren't in any particular order, and I really tried to mix history, science, philosophy, and theology. Here you go:

John Adams by David McCullough
Living as if Heaven Matters by David Shibley
Healing by Francis MacNutt
Politically Incorrect Guide (PIG) English/American Lit by Kantor
PIG American History by Woods
PIG The South by Johnston
PIG Science by Bethell
PIG Islam and Crusades by Spencer
PIG Global Warming/ Environmentalism by Horner
Orthodoxy by GK Chesterton
Sound Reinforcement Handbook by Davis and Jones
How Then Shall We Live? by Francis Schaeffer
The God Who Is There by Francis Schaeffer
God Is There and He is Not Silent by Francis Schaeffer
The Christian In Armor by Gurnall
Ten Books That Screwed Up The World by Benjamin Wiker
The Book That Transforms Nations by Loren Cunningham
The Call by Os Guiness
The Abolition of Man by CS Lewis
Love the Lord With All Your Mind by JP Moreland
A Really Inconvenient Truth by Iain Murray
Let The Nations Be Glad by John Piper
Knowing God by J.I. Packer
Driven By Eternity by John Bevere

So I've completed one on the list, am in process of two more, and have read a couple others not originally listed: The Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell (an fascinating look at the New Age philosophy directly influencing much of the media today, including Bill Moyers and George Lucas), Culture Shift by Albert Mohler (a book of essays on various issues today) and What's The Difference? by John Piper (a short, insightful look at biblical manhood and womanhood).

I've got a lot of reading to do!