Sunday, September 25, 2011

Waiting On God

EDIT: This is a couple weeks old, but still worth posting, I think.

I find that I can grasp a better perspective when I'm flying at 30,000 feet. The matters that are so pressing on the ground are mere specks, and I wonder what the whole universe must look like when God looks down. Sometimes I need to be reminded He's got the whole world in His hands.

Anyways, while flying home yesterday, I was journaling. I won't bore you with most of it, but something really stuck out to me.

See, for the past several years, when well-meaning people have asked some version of that dreaded question - what do you want to be when you grow up? - I've sketched the broad goal of my life as I know it and usually finish with something like, "I'm waiting on God to see what's next." And I've had multiple, unrelated people say almost the exact same thing: "Well, waiting on God is very good place to be in."

I smile and nod, because I know it's true, but the impatient part of me wants to mutter, "Oh yeah? It'd really be nice to know what's going on..."

But I think I've realized why I've never gotten it before. Here's what I wrote last night.

For far too long, I've been waiting on God to do something - to reveal His plan, or at least the next step, to open up a door, to direct friendships and relationships, or just to speak. But if I'm waiting on anything other than God Himself, I will never be satisfied, for nothing else can satisfy. But if my desire is God Himself, nothing else matters - where I am, who I'm with, what I'm doing. I'm not waiting for the next big event or a list of instructions or for the right people to show up. I'm listening for God Himself and what He wants me to do in this moment. I'm walking in step with the Spirit, covered in the dust of the Rabbi. Indeed, waiting on God is a good place, a good state to be in. Waiting on God to do something I think He should do is a miserable state to be in, for it, by nature, cannot satisfy. Only God Himself can do that.

Psalm 62

5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.

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